She Can't Love You
by Ess5iveOoh
Summary: AU. Tara is finding her new life in Sunnydale a little too hard. Her girlfriend wants their relationship to remain a secret. She has no friends of her own. And when she finally befriends an outspoken musicstore clerk, everybody hates her.T/W F/T TarasPOV


**She Can't Love You**

**Pairing: Willow/Tara. Faith/Tara**

Here's something that just wouldn't leave my mind. It's completely AU. I thought i'd finally give F/T a go. Let me know what you think. If you like it i'll carry on. Thanks peeps.

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She was something different. Something new. Like a breath of fresh air, that if I hadn't taken. I probably would have died. She restored me. Saw me for who I could be. She saw past the shyness. Saw pass the insecurity. She saw _me_. She made me complete. Without her, I was nothing. I know that's a little over the top. But it was true. She was my everything.

But it was hard. Living the way we were. In secrecy. Personally I didn't care if the world knew or not. I loved her. That was all that mattered. But it mattered to Willow. She was too afraid of losing her friends. Her family. They were here before me. She had them. And I only had her. Of course they accepted me into their group. Willow always took time to reassure me that I was apart of the gang. But I knew that deep down I was still on the outside. If I wasn't so close to Willow, I doubt any of them would be my friends. Maybe Buffy. She was nice. But I couldn't see myself without Willow. Like I said, she's my everything.

On my way to school today, I was so nervous. I had a job interview after school at a bookstore located in the mall. But seeing the face of my beautiful redhead, soon calmed my nerves.

"Hey" She whispered in my ear. Sending chills down my spine. God I wish I could have just kissed her then and there. But I couldn't. I never could.

"Hey yourself" I smiled back, carrying my books in hand. Some text books and others that I had issued from the library.

"So pretty lady. Are you ready for big interview today?" She nudged my arm as we walked towards the school entrance. I hated when she did that. It was such a tease.

I sighed, "It is big isn't it. I bet I'm not going to get it. I'll probably clam up, and answer something ridiculously." I rambled. I could feel her fingertips on my arm.

"Whoa, hey. No way. It's not big. I mean well yeah it is, cause you'll have a job once you get it. And how intense would the questions actually be? It's a bookstore right? It's not like they're going to interrogate you. You'll be fine. I know you will" She squeezed my arm with a smile. Her smile. That smile. Made me melt.

"Thank you" I whispered. Those eyes. I could stare in those eyes for days. Weeks. Hell eternity, if I could. And those lips. I just want to touch them. Just once. But I can't.

"Hey guys!" Xander called, with his arm around Buffy. I envied Buffy. How she could display her love freely. I wanted that,

"Hey Xand!" Willow quickly let go of my arm. My eyes darkened with sadness for a split second.

"Hey" I replied, regaining a smile.

"Ugh. Have you guys seen Cordelia? I mean honestly, we're at school. Not the bronze. They should have height requirements for skirts here!" Buffy glared at her arch nemesis, Cordelia Chase.

"Dear God. Please don't ever let that happen" Xander prayed, much to Buffy's disapproval. The tall goofy boy quickly slouched down to give her a peck on the cheek.

"So Tara. Ready for your big interview today? You know maybe I should think about getting a job" Xander trailed in his thoughts, before realizing the girl was yet to answer.

"I don't think ready is the word" I replied, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"I'm sure you'll be fine" Buffy reassured. See she was nice like that. I had only been here for about six months, and Willow and I had been together for almost three. It always occurred to me why Willow was so fearful of telling them. They had been her best friends since she was five. Would being with me really jeopardise such a stable and concreted friendship?

After school I caught the bus to the Sunnydale mall. I tugged at my sleeve of anything else I could fidget with the whole ride there. I was so nervous. About a job interview. But I really needed this job. My mother died about a year ago. And my father up and left my sister and I, evidently leading us here, to Sunnydale, to live with my grandmother. But she was getting old nowadays, and me being the eldest, had to find a way to support her.

The mall was chaotic. Which was weird, for Sunnydale. I passed a few shops and took a quick peek inside each one as I went past. There was a pharmacy, nothing too big, with a young looking guy around my age behind the counter, and an older up tight looking woman fixing up medication at the back. Next was a gift shop, with two elder looking ladies, around their early fifties, laughing and conversing. They looked like lovely people. And next to that was a music shop. A light bass blared through the speakers at the entrance. Inside a teenage girl leant across the counter, popping some gum. She looked around my age. Her dark hair hung loosely around her face, reaching just under her shoulders. She wore dark lipstick and dark clothing. But somehow, she didn't strike me as a goth. Before I knew it, I realized I was staring at this girl. As did she. She threw me a questioning look. I was so embarrassed, I turned sharply. Almost knocking over an old lady.

_Jesus Tara, pull yourself together. _

Thank god I found the bookstore, directly across from the music store. _Great._

Nervously, I drew myself to the counter. There was a young guy behind the counter, his smile was eager as he looked at me.

"Don't tell me. You're here for interview? You must be Tara!" Okay. So it was weird hearing a stranger say my name as if they knew me.

I frowned, "That's me. " I was sheepish. I knew it. But my nerves were getting the better of me.

"It's so nice to meet you. I'm Andrew! I work here fulltime. I know I'm a bit young to be working full time. But that's a whole different story. Okay and now I'm talking way too much. Miss. Calender will be with you shortly" he smiled again. He was very friendly. And bubbly. I liked it. He was something new. Although, he did remind me of a younger, blonde and slightly gay version of Xander.

"It's nice to meet you." I laughed. This boy was lovely amongst his rants.

"Oh and a tip. Just be yourself really. Ease up a bit. I'm betting you already have the job anyway" he winked at me.

_Be myself. Sure I could do that. I think?_

"Thanks. And I'll try" I shied.

"Tara Mclay?" I turned to see a tanned skin woman, calling my name. She was rather short, and dressed similar to me. A long skirt and a long sleeved top. I smiled. Maybe this would be easier than I thought.

I smiled "Y-yes. It's nice to meet you Miss. Calender" I extended my hand.

She took the offering and shook her head "Please. Call me Jenny. Why don't we head out the back and have a chat." She lead the way and I followed, throwing Andrew back a smile, to his two thumbs up he was sending me.

"So Giles has told me a lot about you. Said you're a lovely and pleasant young girl, which to me is very clear. I can feel it in your aura already. He mentioned that you help out in the school library every now and then also. Which is a major plus. You're an avid reader I take it?" Jenny blurted and all I could do was nod my head in agreement.

"Y-yes" I managed. I cursed my nerves.

"Well great. You start tomorrow" She smiled and headed back towards the front.

"Wait. What?" I turned in disbelief and followed her.

"I didn't really need to interview you. You recommendation was good enough." She walked through and handed a bunch of books to Andrew who looked at me eagerly.

"Andy, meet your new co-worker" Andrew beamed with excitement.

"See I told you, you had the job. I'm pretty much a genius!" He smiled. Jenny rolled her eyes. I stifled a laugh.

I thanked the two of them. Andrew, I don't know why, but I was so ecstatic that I rushed out of the store so eager to share my news. But my eagerness soon turned into pain when my head collided with the floor.

"Shit!" I heard a raspy voice. I tried to open my eyes. I peeled them open to find the ceiling.

I tried to move, but my head was to busy pounding. I think my brain was trying to jump out of my scalp.

"You know you should really watch where you're running round here" The voice spoke again. It was husky, and had a southern swag to it. I blinked a few times before finally a face to the voice became clear.

"Sooo, you just gonna lay there? Y'know footprints to the face and in this summer right?" It was her. The music store girl. She had this devilishness about her. But somehow I wasn't intimidated.

"I uh, can you give me a hand?" I asked, still adjusting to the light. She held out her hand and I accepted. I could feel stares from others around us as she lifted me to my feet.

"Thanks" I smiled, dusting off my skirt.

"Tis not everyday I help strangers up, who run into me. Well anyone for that fact. You should feel special" She flicked a smirk my way. She was different. _Very_ different.

"Trust me I do" I smiled back. _Wait what did I just say?_

"Anyway. This was fun and all, but I really gotta jet. Oz will kill me if I'm late from my break again. See ya round" and with that she was gone. But I couldn't help but smile. Knowing that I would in fact see her around.

* * *

**So is there something to play with?**


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